I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
