I just threw up on my dentist
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
