God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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