Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
