I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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