Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
