from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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