Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Randomize
