hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Yo dont text me then not text me
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
