I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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