a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
