I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
