Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
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