Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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