That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Randomize
