is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
