You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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