Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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