normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I would ride that face into the sunset
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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