I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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