sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
