you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
