I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
