U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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