Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Randomize
