stop calling my apartment porn island.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
