wat bout pragnant strippers??
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
