Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
