After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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