There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
