Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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