I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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