Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
