So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
