NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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