are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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