dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
