STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
