I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
