literally had 100 drinks last night.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
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