i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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