I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
