so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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