If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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