Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he fucked my hip out of place.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
