the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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