so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
