id be glad to
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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