those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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