one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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