'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
